Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Speckled Jelly Egg Diet

Did you know speckled jelly eggs have no fat? It's true, according to the packaging anyway, and considering that they are basically gummy dense marshmallows with a hardened sugar shell they'd better not have any fat. They also have 150 Calories per 13 eggs, so if you eat all 8 servings that come in one bag, you'd still get 1200 Calories from your snack, but no fat. You'd also probably get a few cavities in your premolars, since they stick a lot worse than marshmallows. Considering that over the past few days I have mostly just eaten speckled jelly eggs, bacon, and a few turkey sandwiches, it looks like I might be well on my way to being a new spokesperson for this new lowfat diet. Vitamin B-complex from the turkey sandwiches, plus a little vitamin E. ( I still am eating the Good Bread with all the nuts and extra grains in it, and turkey has some vitamin E.) Vitamin A from the turkey and bacon, and the bread. Not much vitamin C, but a supplement should work for that. Vitamin D comes from the sun, and the reaction that its light initiates in my skin, assuming I get any sun, of course, but I have been outside easily enough over the past few days to gather enough vitamin D for the week. There's at least some iron in the bread, and maybe a trace of iron, plus anti-oxidants in my dark coffee.
At this rate the government may have a point about that any reasonably caloric diet is bound to be a sufficient source of nutrients by their standards.

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