Where I stand, so far

Where I Stand

1.People are people. Female, male, heterosexual, homosexual, tall, short, fat, skinny, and all other terms often applied to people are details, but not the essence of any person. A fat person has different traits compared to a skinny person, and a person with a penis has different traits from one with a vulva. Some traits seem to appear most commonly together, for instance penises and lots of body hair, or morbidly obese people and sore feet. But there are always exceptions or potentials for exceptions. A morbidly obese royal person who is always carried everywhere, for instance, is unlikely to have sore feet.
2.Feminism and masculinism are not monolithic. One cannot predict a person's opinions, feelings or beliefs very precisely based on these designations, and they are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Femininity and masculinity are socially constructed concepts, built from traits that naturally occur in people, but trained from infancy within established cultures. Just as a tree can be trained to grow flat along a trellis, a human can be trained to be a “manly man” or a “girly girl.” Just as a tree left untended will begin to regain its natural shape, a human can, if allowed, regain lost aspects of itself. Thus traditional women can learn to enjoy life as independant people, not appended as wives or girlfriends to anyone; traditional men can learn to appreciate and understand their vast emotional repertoire.
3.The way gender conversations often go, it seems the only solution is for all men to pick up their toys and go east, and all women pick up their toys and go west, and forget about playing together. Except that there would be a bunch of people stuck in the middle, who are not sure they want to just be on the men's side, or just on the women's side, for various reasons. There are biological differences between genders that would mean eventually that nobody would exist on the east side, since men can't give birth, and only women would exist on the west side, since cloning women could only produce women. In the middle things might be more complicated, and maybe those center folks would be responsible for restoring healthy civilization.
4.So long as men insist that they are in charge by virtue of their penises, women hold a trump card that only socialization prevents them from playing, unless men choose to go to war against women, bringing violence and rape to bear against all 'recalcitrant women'. If women have sex as much as men do, with as many partners as men have, than no one man out of her selection of partners is necessarily the father of any particular child she may give birth to. Even if she only has one partner, however, there is little sense in talking about automatic 'paternal rights' simply because when she had sex with that man, his sperm met up with her egg. Up to that point, assuming they were consensual and both enjoyed it, they're even. But now, for 9 months, she is pregnant. This doesn't usually mean that she lolls about, munching food and watching movies for 9 months. Even if she isn't working somewhere, she is almost certainly still doing housework, especially if she isn't working. And regardless of how she spends that time, she is still pregnant, with the cramps, sore feet, morning sickness, etc, and then the pleasures of childbirth to cap it off. After that she gets to nurse the baby while her body pulls itself slowly back into shape as best it can, and she gets to find out just how egalitarian her partner really is with respect to childcare and housework. Considering all this, a modern woman may more reasonably choose not to have children with any man, ever. And, without babies, she has less reason to want a man around all the time, since life is simpler living on her own, with a lover she can see when they are both feeling interested. Both men and women would miss out on the fulfillment of deeper, longer-lasting love and companionship, but this may be the best way to go if men and women can't work out their issues any better.
5.I like men. That is, I find male bodies attractive, and I so far only fall in love or in lust with male humans. I would be and am disappointed that there are so few men fully comfortable with themselves and their bodies. I hate being with a man who seems uneasy that he has a penis when he finds himself standing naked in plain sight of his lover. I'd assume the point of his being there naked with his lover is in part because he has a penis, so being shy or ashamed of it is silly. Obviously I am not a passive sort of lover overall, though I have my days, as many people seem to. The men I wind up with are thus men who are more ok with having a more sexually equal partner, at least to the extent that they are happy to try new positions and enjoy being under a naked woman. But, they somehow lost balance; they have so far all been rather passive, unable to be equal, and so unfortunately easily dominated. I'm not sure how men lasted so many centuries having passive sex partners- it's terribly dull, and pointless after a while.
6.I prefer to sort of life and interests for myself that tend to belong to men in our society. I was a boy scout, after all, not a girl scout. I do not see these things as gendered- anyone can like tying knots and building things out of ropes and logs, or riding horses, or practicing archery. But, many men seem to not know how to enjoy a woman who is more a boy scout than a girl scout. They've grown up on stories in which women act in certain ways, and they expect that in real life. Real women, though, in our modern times, are not simpering pretty dolls, to be escorted to movies and treated to chocolate malts on the way home. I doubt women have ever really been that dull, but now it is socially possible for men and women to talk, to explore and discover life together as friends and equals. Somehow I still meet men every year who are my age and have no female friends besides myself, and I certainly know women who don't really have male friends, but they are in both cases the minority.
7.It's not a matter of making mountains out of molehills, but nonetheless, if we don't solve gender this year, life will not suddenly grind to a halt. With ~7 billion people on the planet, there will likely be both men and women someplaces on the planet being oppressed and mistreated, and there will also be michrocosms of egalitarianism where it seems things have finally worked out right. Kids will be born to people throughout this vast spectrum of socialization, and as they meet each other, the boundaries we set on our lives will continue to morph. Despite all the hatred and anger spewed on all sides regarding gender issues, many people do eventually meet a special someone, and fall in love, at least for a while. Even if the genders did all pick up their toys and quit the game, there would be quiet liasons on the borders. Little homesteads would begin popping up towards the center from both sides as people with burning hatreds against “men” or “women” found a man, or a woman wonderful enough to share life with.